transgender – A Trial of Survival

Fiction

I wonder,
if the way we
we
av
e
our stories
leaves any room for
truth.

The vacant cavern within me
only grows, with every failed
attempt at connection.
With every cruel reminder,
that I will never
measure up.

Fatigue
will always seep
into the bones of the
battle ready,
until we are dripping
with embitter acceptance.

Scattered bodies;
lay against grates,
and the alleys of a
freezing city.

A child,
worn down and desperate,
takes any risk
to feel the warmth.

A loneliness, I cannot unravel.

Changing tides.
I feel the ground shift
beneath my feet;
vertigo.
I can’t see clearly,
you’re oblivious cruelty,
a rainstorm
that clouds all
vision.

Your anger is burning thing,
a potency you have always
underestimated.
The perfect juxtaposition
to my own strenuous
containment.

cw: suicidal ideation

an overwhelming hopelessness,
the disease that ebbs and flows.
exhaustion that permeates every
meagre atom of my body.

no matter the length of time,
a returning feature
of the malignant mind.

There is no more anger.
Just the quiet sadness
of constant disappointment.
Cynicism has never failed me.